Adding Jokes / Recent Jokes

A soldier was asked to report to the headquarters sergeant for an assignment.
The sergeant said, “We have a critical shortage of typists. I'll give you a
little test. Type this,” he ordered, giving him a pamphlet to copy and a sheet of paper, and pointing to a desk across the room that held a typewriter and an adding machine.The man, quite reluctant to become a clerk typist, made a point of typing very slowly, and saw to it that his work contained as many errors as possible.The sergeant gave the typed copy only a brief glance. “That's fine,”" he said. “Report for work at 8 tomorrow.”“But aren't you going to check the test?” the prospective clerk asked.The sergeant grinned. “You passed the test,” he replied, “when you sat down at the typewriter instead of at the adding machine.”

Putts-Brooks Law: Adding manpower to a late technology project only makes it later.

A little too much joie de vivre while demonstrating the erector set, if you know what I mean.
Every time you're passed over for a promotion, you stick your head in an Easy Bake Oven and threaten to "end it all."
You got caught adding a garage to your house using embezzled Lego bricks.
Numerous parental complaints about your "Tickle Me Carl The Stockboy" display.
You went overboard with your GI Joe Militia display by adding the Tonka truck full of fertilizer.
Cross-dressing the Ken and Barbie dolls and telling kids they're the new "Jerry Springer" edition.
The "My Little Taxidermy Kit" (with starter squirrel) is not selling.
Impromptu demonstrations of why Malibu Ken is not anatomically correct.
Got caught doing your Dolly Parton impression with basketballs again.
Source of reefer smoke finally traced to "nostrils" of Geoffrey the Giraffe.
Jaws of life needed to pull your knees out of more...

- A little too much joie de vivre while demonstrating the erector set, if you know what I mean.
- Every time you're passed over for a promotion, you stick your head in an Easy Bake Oven and threaten to "end it all."
- You got caught adding a garage to your house using embezzled Lego bricks.
- Numerous parental complaints about your "Tickle Me Carl The Stockboy" display.
- You went overboard with your GI Joe Militia display by adding the Tonka truck full of fertilizer.
- Cross-dressing the Ken and Barbie dolls and telling kids they're the new "Jerry Springer" edition.
- The "My Little Taxidermy Kit" (with starter squirrel) is not selling.
- Impromptu demonstrations of why Malibu Ken is not anatomically correct.
- Got caught doing your Dolly Parton impression with basketballs again.
- Source of reefer smoke finally traced to "nostrils" of Geoffrey the Giraffe.
- Jaws of life needed to more...

Adding manpower to a late software product makes it later.