Abdulazia Jokes

From rough draft of my Top Stories of 1994 Article:
The Chunnel, a $13.3 billion underwater tunnel between England and France, opens for business. Inexplicably, passengers arrive in Paris, but their luggage winds up in the luggage carousel at the new Denver International Airport.
Paula Corbin Jones accuses President Clinton of directing state troopers to lure her into an Arkansas hotel room where he lewdly dropped his trousers and said "it's clear you want me, cupid." Clinton admits to being in the hotel room, but claims all he said was "it's the economy, stupid."
Fighting sexual harassment charges, Oregon Senator Bob Packwood refuses to hand over his diaries to the Senate Ethics Committee. He partially capitulates, agreeing to surrender seventeen boxed and indexed sets of his "Letters to Penthouse."
Francisco Martin Duran fires 20-30 shots at White House. Fortunately, President Clinton is upstairs watching a football game. Unfortunately, more...