"fingered" joke

I once fingered my daughter to the police.

I think it was every breath you take.

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...


Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!


I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and more...


Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!


Yo momma so fat she has two things in common with a Big Mac: full of fat and worth a dollar!

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James H. H. Lampert:The biggest flaw in the common form of this joke is that the punchline makes no sense if "big sister" is the one who'd said that she wants to "put it in cider." Much better, something like "Everybody says that when big sister gets a prick . . . " or "Big Brother says that whenever Big Sister gets a prick . . . "
Funny Joke? 101 vote(s). 45% are positive. 1 comment(s).