"fingered" joke

I once fingered my daughter to the police.

I think it was every breath you take.

A man phoned his boss "I need a day off today, something is wrong with my eyes". "What's wrong with your eyes?" asks the boss. "Don't know, but I can't see myself coming into work today".


Your Mamma's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!


A four-year-old boy asked his friend what a penis was. His friend's response was that he did not know and he would ask his dad.

That evening the second boy asked his dad. His dad gladly exposed himself to his son and with his penis in hand said, "Son this is a more...


I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and more...


Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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James H. H. Lampert:The biggest flaw in the common form of this joke is that the punchline makes no sense if "big sister" is the one who'd said that she wants to "put it in cider." Much better, something like "Everybody says that when big sister gets a prick . . . " or "Big Brother says that whenever Big Sister gets a prick . . . "
Funny Joke? 101 vote(s). 46% are positive. 1 comment(s).