"Work Excuse" joke

by Tats

A man phoned his boss "I need a day off today, something is wrong with my eyes". "What's wrong with your eyes?" asks the boss. "Don't know, but I can't see myself coming into work today".

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend will be sitting next to you saying: "Damn that was fun!"

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Two guys walk into a bar and sit down at a table.
The barkeep comes over to them and asks, "What can I serve you gentlemen?"
One of them says to the barkeep, "I'll bet you a pitcher of you finest beer that I can lick my eye."
The barkeep says, more...

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A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and more...

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A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...

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You mamma is soo fat she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out!

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