"Why did Hitler commit suicide?" joke

A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...

A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.
"How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her.
"Well I was trying to commit suicide" the blonde replied.
"What?" sputtered more...

What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.

You mamma is soo fat she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out!

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.