"What's Your Cat Doing for Christmas?" joke

This is a wonderful time of year when the humans decorate the home for us cats in anticipation of the visit from "Santa Claws." The tree went up yesterday, and so did we! Whee! Made it to the fourth branch within the first five minutes before the Big Owner chased us out of the tree.
So, as we do every year, we waited and watched the humans decorate the Cat-mas tree with all sorts of these things humans call "ornaments."
We call them "cat toys."
Ornaments are invitations to a cat, bright and shiny spheres just
daring us to knock them off. And we're pretty good at it,
considering all the trees they've decorated.
Every year humans hang the ornaments a little higher out of our
range, forcing us to elevate our game to knock them off. Humans
"ohhh and ahhh" as they decorate the Cat-mas tree. Us? We salivate in anticipation of the night's activities.
The humans retire to bed, as is custom during Cat-mas season,
leaving us to play with our tree.
Tonight is a challenge, the ornaments are at an all-time high. We
crept under the tree and began to scale branches. This is great!
A tree in our own home, why don't they do this year-round? Five,
six, seven branches, we climb like a pro. Ten, twelve, we are
halfway to the top, and there is the first ornament! This is easy
as Cat-mas fruitcake.
We make our way down the branch approaching the first ornament.
It lightly jiggles as our weight causes the bough to bend. Almost
there! One paw away and we feel a shudder. Hey, something is not right here, we begin to lose our balance. The room is tilting! No, the room is not tilting. .. the Cat-mas tree is falling! ME-OW!!
It seemed like forever as the tree leaned, then pitched, and
finally crashed to the floor in a resounding bang of exploding
bulbs, ornaments, and broken limbs. We quickly extricated ourselves
from the splintered tree just as the Big Owner came bursting in
snapping on the lights and talking excitedly.
There we were, sitting next to the tree, as innocent a look on our
faces as any other in the household.
"What happened?" he growled.
Not a peep from us, we turned and looked at the tree.
"I guess we hung too many ornaments on one side of the tree," we heard him say later as he hoisted the mangled Cat-mas tree back into place.
"Goo-ood answer," we thought.
The Big Owner staggered off to bed, and we retreated to the living room. Maybe we'll tear down those stockings that were hung by the chimney "with care".

Not enough votes...

Be first to comment!
remember me
follow replies
Funny Joke? 0 vote(s). 0% are positive. 0 comment(s).