"What's A Kiss?" joke

Humour: What's A Kiss?
Everything you wanted to know about a kiss; -
Definition of A Kiss:

Professors of different subjects define the same word different
Prof. of Algebra: Kiss is two divided by nothing.
Prof. of Geometry: Kiss is the shortest distance between two
straight lines.
Prof. of Physics: Kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the
expansion of the heart.
Prof. of Chemistry: Kiss is the reaction of the interaction
between two hearts.
Prof. of Zoology: Kiss is the interchange of unisexual salivary
Prof. of Physiology: Kiss is the juxtaposition of two orbicularis
oris muscles in the state of contraction.
Prof. of Dentistry: Kiss is infectious and antiseptic.
Prof. of Accountancy: Kiss is a credit because it is profitable when
Prof. of Economics: Kiss is that thing for which the demand is
higher than the supply.
Prof. of Statistics: Kiss is an event whose probability depends on
the vital statistics of 36-24-36
Prof. of Philosophy: Kiss is the persecution for the child, ecstasy
for the youth and homage for the old.
Prof. of English: Kiss is a noun that is used as a conjunction;
it is more common than proper; it is spoken in
the plural and it is applicable to all
Prof. of Engineering What is a Kiss?
"A Kiss is that you cannot give without taking, and cannot
take without giving. It is a course of procedure cunningly
devised for the mutual stoppage of speech for a moment when words
are superfluous. It is lip-service to love and the anatomical
juxtaposition of two orbicularis oris muscles in a state of
A Kiss is a peculiar proposition. Of no use to one, yet
absolute bliss to two. The small boy gets it for nothing, the young
man has to steal it, and the old man has to buy it. It is the
baby's right, the lover's privilege, and the hypocrite's mask. To
young girl, faith; married woman, hope; old maid, charity. A Kiss
can be a comma, quotation mark or an exclamation point. It is also
a pleasant reminder that two heads are better than one."
A Kiss that speaks volumes is seldom a first edition.
Kissing a pretty girl is like opening a bottle of olives. After
the first one the rest come easy.
"Am I the first girl you ever Kissed? "
"Might be -- your face looks familiar."

The Barber Shop This guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says, "About 2 hours." The guy leaves. A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, more...


A story is told that Richard Wagner was walking on a street in Berlin one day and came across an organ-grinder who was grinding out the overture to Tannhäuser. Wagner stopped and said, "As a matter of fact, you are playing it too fast."

The organ-grinder at more...


A Jesuit, a Dominican, and a Trappist were marooned on a desert island. They found a magic lamp, and after some discussion decided to rub it. Lo and behold, a genie appeared and offered them three wishes. They decided it was only fair that they could each have one wish. The more...


It takes balls to be a transvestite.


Aug. 12 Moved to our new home in Montana. It is so beautiful here. The mountains are so majestic. Can hardly wait to see the snow covering them. Oct. 14 Montana is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves have turned all colors and shades of red and orange. Went for a ride more...

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