"What Really Pissed Me Off!" joke
Coming into the bar and ordering a double, the man leaned over
and confided to the bartender, "
I'm so pissed off !"
"
Oh yeah? What happened?"
asked the bartender politely.
"
See, I met this beautiful woman who invited me back to her
home. We stripped off our clothes and jumped into bed and we
were just about to make love when her god damned husband came in
the front door. So I had to jump out of the bedroom window and
hang from the ledge by my fingernails!"
"
Gee, that's tough!"
commiserated the bartender.
"
Right, but that's not what really got me aggravated,"
the
customer went on.
"
When her husband came into the room he said 'Hey great! You're
naked already! Let me just take a leak.' And damned if the lazy
son of a bitch didn't piss out the window right onto my head?"
"
Yeech!"
the bartender shook his head. "
No wonder you're in a
lousy mood."
"
Yeah, but I haven't told you what really, really got to me.
Next, I had to listen to them grunting and groaning and when
they finished, the husband tossed his condom out of the window.
And where does it land? My damned forehead!"
"
Damn, that really is a drag!"
says the bartender.
"
Oh, I'm not finished. See what really pissed me off was when
the husband had to take a dump. It turns out that their toilet
is broken, so he stuck his ass out of the window and let loose
right on my head !"
The bartender paled. "
That would sure mess up my day."
"
Yeah, yeah, yeah,"
the fellow rattled on, "
but do you know what
REALLY, REALLY, REALLY pissed me off? When I looked down and saw
that my feet were only SIX inches off the ground!!"
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. Then when you do criticize that person, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.
Little Connie watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face.
"Why do you do that, Mom?"
"To make myself beautiful," she answered. She then began to remove the cream with a tissue.
"What's the more...
Stacey makes a new friend at school and invites her home for the first time. Stacey excuses herself to fetch her Mom and introduce her new friend. As her friend is standing in the living room next to the fireplace, she picks up the attractive vase on the mantle. When Stacey more...