"What A Difference 41 Years Make..." joke

1970: Wore long hair
2011: Longing for hair
1970: Sitting around thinking of the perfect high.
2011: Sitting around thinking of the perfect high yield mutual fund.
1970: Finding a friend to split the price of a keg.
2011: Finding a friend to take me to have an EKG.
1970: Sitting through sessions of Acid Rock.
2011: Sitting through sessions of Acid Reflux.
1970: Thinking of moving to a real kool place.
2011: Thinking of moving to a real warm place.
1970: News stories of people growing pot.
2011: The reality of growing a pot belly.
1970: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with my mother and sister.
2011: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with my grown children.
1970: Trying to look like Richard Rountree or Ron O'Neal.
2011: Trying NOT to look like Richard Rountree or Ron O'Neal.
1970: Chewing on seeds and stems.
2011: Chewing on lots of roughage.
1970: Popping pills, smoking joints.
2011: Popping joints, needing those pills.
1970: Noting our president's struggle with Fidel.
2011: Noting our president's struggle with fidelity.
1970: Admiring JACK PAAR.
2011: Joining AARP
1970: Avoiding Killer weed.
2011: Avoiding Weed killer.
1970: Hoping to "get lucky" on a date.
2011: Hoping you won't catch anything from your "lucky" date.
1970: Reading about The Grateful Dead.
2011: Reading about Dr. Kevorkian.
1970: Getting out to a new, hip joint.
2011: Getting a new hip joint.
1970: Listening to the Rolling Stones.
2011: Struggling with kidney stones.
1970: Yelling, "Screw the system!"
2011: Reminding yourself to, "Upgrade the stupid system!"
1970: Throwing the Peace sign.
2011: Watching the Mercedes logo.
1970: Friends who wouldn't get their hair cut.
2011: Children begging to get their heads shaved.
1970: Talking to friends about taking acid.
2011: Talking to friends about taking antacid.
1970: Proud to be passing the driver's test.
2011: Barely passing the vision test.
1970: "Whatever" was a typical response.
2011: "That Depends" is the way to go.

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...

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Q:what did god say when the first black person came to heaven?
A:oops I must of burnt one!!

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Arnold Schwartzinagor has a long one

Michael J. Fox has a short one

Madonna doesn't have one and

Bill Clinton uses his a lot

What is "it"?



A last name!

Now what were you thinking?

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4

Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.

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5

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...

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