"Weighing the Baby" joke
A blonde, carrying a baby in her arms, enters a pharmacy and asks to use the infant scale to weigh the baby. The clerk explains that the infant scale is out for repairs, but she could figure out the infant's weight by weighing mother and baby together on the adult scale, then weighing the mother alone and subtracting the second amount from the first.
"Oh, that will never work!" groaned the blonde. "I'm not the mother, I'm the aunt!"
Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs.
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes
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