"Wandered on Saturday night - Sunday Special" joke

*If it's zero degrees outside today, and it is supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
*Why is it called building when it is already built?
*If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?
*If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
*If all the world is a stage where is the audience sitting?
*Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
*When cheese gets its picture taken what does it say?
*If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make
terrible?
*Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?
*If lawyers are debarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, dry cleaners depressed?

*Why is it if someone tells you there are 1 billion stars in the universe, you will believe them but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?
*Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?