Opposite Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    When everything's coming your way, you're on the wrong side of the freeway.

    At a southern university, students in the psychology program were attending their first class on emotional extremes.
    "Just to establish some parameters," said the professor to the student from Arkansas, "what is the opposite of joy?"
    "Sadness," said the student.
    "And the opposite of depression?" he asked of the young lady from Oklahoma.
    "Elation," she said.
    "And you sir," he said to the young man from Texas, "what about the opposite of woe?"
    The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be'giddy up' ".

    Order: Is each here? Does each have his opposite?
    Chaos: I am here, but my opposite is you.
    Order: Huh?
    Evil: Don't let him bug ya'. We're here.
    Truth: My opposite is not here.
    Good: Is your opposite "Lies"?
    Truth: My opposite is "Void". He couldn't make it.
    Evil: snicker Figures!
    Order: Agh! How are we going to seat five! This table is made for six!
    Evil: Just take out his chair and move over. Sheesh!
    Good: I have the cards.
    Evil: I've got the chips.
    Truth: I have the beer.
    Chaos: I have the cards!
    Order: Shut up.
    Order: Whose deal is it?
    Evil: Do ya' gotta ask that EVERY time?
    Truth: It is Good's deal.
    Good: OK, five card draw...uh, everything is wild.
    Evil: How can anyone win if everything is wild?
    Good: No ONE can win, but we all can call ourselves winners if...
    Order: I like this game.
    Evil: This is pointless.
    Truth: It is time to deal.
    Good: Here we go! more...

    Just Assume If The Opposite Of Hippopotammas Is Hippopotamai What Is The Opposite Of Whatafoolumus Ans. Whatafoolami

    What is the opposite of a cold front? -A warm back

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