"Two priests and a rabbi" joke

Two priests and a rabbi were discussing what portion of the
weekly collection they kept for themselves. The first priest
explained that he drew a circle on the ground, stepped a few paces back
and pitched the money towards the circle. What landed in the circle
he kept and what landed outside the circle god kept.
The second priest claimed that his method was almost the same,
except that what landed outside the circle went to the priest and the
money that landed inside the circle god kept.
The rabbi said, "I've got you both beat. I throw the money
into the air and what god wants, god takes."

Sweden’s Pirate Party won a seat in the European Parliament after winning 7% of the vote. Their first order of business: improve ties with Somalia.

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I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and more...

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What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.

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Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

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your hairline so far back i thought u went bald in 3rd grade

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