"Two guys were in a bar" joke
Two guys were in a bar, and they were both watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge who was about to jump, obviously suicidal. "I'll bet you $10 he'll jump," said the first guy. "Bet you $10 he won't," said the second guy. Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge. The second guy hands the first guy the money. "I can't take your money," said the first guy. "I cheated you. The same story was on the five o'clock news." "No, no. Take it," said the second guy. "I saw the five o'clock news too. I just didn't think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!"
The kindergarten class had to come up with a sentence using the colors green, pink, and yellow. So the teacher calls up every single kid in the classroom. But she forgot to call on the Samoan kid. So she asks him to please step up to the front of the class and recite his more...
Little Lucy went out into the garden and saw her cat Tiddles lying on the ground with its eyes shut and its legs in the air. She fetched her Dad to look at Tiddles, and on seeing the cat he said, as gently as he could, "I'm afraid Tiddles is dead, Lucy"."So why more...
How do you know if a chink robbed your house?
Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later the chink is still trying to back out of your driveway!
Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!
What's the difference between the Mafia and the Government? Only one of them is organized.