"Three Question Test" joke

A blonde appeared at the Pearly Gates seeking admission. The gate keeper said there was a test that had to be passed before continuing to paradise, and that the test consisted of three questions.
The blonde said, "Go ahead, ask the questions."
"O.K." said the angel. "For the first question, tell me which two days of the week begin with the letter T."
"That's easy", said the candidate for admission. "Today and Tomorrow."
"Hmmmm", said the angel. "Well I can't argue with that. Now for the second question, tell me how many seconds there are in a year."
"There are twelve", said the candidate.
"Twelve?!" exclaimed the angel. "How do you figure that?"
"Well, there's January second, February second, March second, etc."
"O.K." mused the angel. "For the third question, tell me God's first name."
"God's first name is Andy."
"Oh? What makes you say that?" asked the angel.
And the candidate replied, "It's right there in the song." (the candidate begins singing an excerpt from the hymn, "In The Garden")
"And He walks with me, And He talks with me, And He tells me I am His own..."

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There are 10 kinds of mathematicians. Those who can think binarily and those who can't...

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There are three kinds of mathematicians: those who can count and those who
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Ya' hear about the geometer who went to the beach to catch the more...

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Dodo: Teacher, I Can't Solve This Problem. Teacher: Any Five Year Old Should Be Able To Solve This One. Dodo: No Wonder I Can't Do It Then, I'm Nearly Ten!

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President Vladimir Putin called President Bush with an emergency:
"Our largest condom factory has exploded!" the Russian President cried; "My people's favourite form of birth control! This is a true disaster!"

"Boris, the American people more...

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