"The miossing rooster" joke
A priest had a small flock of chickens, but the prize rooster went missing, and he didn't know where to find it. So at the sermon next Sunday he queried:
"Has anybody got a cock?"
All the men stood up.
"No, no, I mean has anybody seen a cock?"
All the women stood up.
"No, no, I mean has anybody seen my cock?"
All the nuns stood up!
Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!
A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, "Religion?" The man says, "Methodist." St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."
Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. more...
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...
The Utah Jazz collected their 12th straight victory. In celebration, Utah residents might even stay up til midnight.
Q:what did god say when the first black person came to heaven?
A:oops I must of burnt one!!