"The Trucker" joke
There was a trucker who hated lawyers so much that each time he saw one, he would turn off the road and hit him. One day he noticed the Pope standing at the side of the road next to a broken down car. The trucker pulled over and offered the Pope a ride.
As they were driving along, the trucker noticed a lawyer so he pulled off the road to hit him. Suddenly remembering the Pope was with him, he turned back onto the road but still heard a thump. The trucker said, "Oh no! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hit him."
"That's ok," replied the Pope. "I saw that you were going to miss him, so I got him with the door."
A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...
One day Rastus and Liza Jane were sitting at the bus stop when Rastus ups and asks, "Liza Jane can I's look up your dress before the bus gets here?"Liza Jane was startled and said, "No Rastus you cain't!"Well Rastus persisted and persisted till finally Liza more...
Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!
Don't worry about the world ending today... It's already tomorrow in Australia.
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...