"The OJ trial as Told by Dr. Seuss" joke

The OJ trial as Told by Dr. Seuss

I did not kill my lovely wife.
I did not slash her with a knife.
I did not bonk her on the head.
I did not know that she was dead.

I stayed at home that fateful night.
I took a limo, then took a flight.
The bag I had was just for me.
My bag! My bag! Hey, leave it be!

When I came home, I had a gash.
My hand was cut from broken glass.
I cut my hand on broken glass.
A broken glass did cause that gash.

My friend, he took me for a ride.
All through LA, from side to side.
From north to south, we took a ride.
But from the cops we could not hide.

My trial lasted for a year.
A year! A year! Just sitting here!
The DNA, the HEM, the HAW!
The circus-hype the viewers saw!
A year! A year! Just sitting here!

Did you do this awful crime?
Did you do this anytime?
I did not do this awful crime.
I could not, would not, anytime.
Did you take this person's life?
Did you do it with a knife?

I did not do it with a knife.
I did not, could not, kill my wife.
I did not do this awful crime.
I could not, would not, anytime.

Did you hit her from above.
Did you drop this bloody glove?

I did not hit her from above.
I cannot even wear that glove.
I did not do it with a knife.
I did not, could not, kill my wife.
I did not do this awful crime.
I could not, would not, anytime.

The glove you see it doesn't fit
The lawyer says you must acquit
Acquit because the cops all lied
Acquit, acquit the lawyer cried

The jury came back verdict in hand
and silence fell across the land
Not guilty, not guilty they did decree
Not guilty, not guilty, now set him free

And now I'm free, I can return
To my house for which I yearn.
And to my family whom I love.
Now would you please return my glove!!

President Clinton's Testimony
by Dr. Seuss

I did not do it in a car
I did not do it in a bar

I did not do it in the dark
I did not do it in the park

I did not do it on a date
I did not ever fornicate

I did not do it more...

2
0

IF DR SEUSS WROTE AN EPISODE OF ER - -
Kerry: Now Mark, I think this ER's great,
But... there are problems that can't wait!
Now Benton's fine, and Carter too,
But Ross and Susan just won't do!
Now who do you think that we should hire,
Since both of them more...

2
1

Read this as if it were a Dr. Seuss story. Enjoy!!
I am Starr.
Starr I are.
I'm a brilliant barri-star.
I'm here to ask, as you'll soon see, Did you grope Miss Lew-in-ski?
Did you grope her in your house?
Did you grope beneath her blouse?
Did she give more...

1
1
Be first to comment!
remember me
follow replies
Funny Joke? 2 vote(s). 50% are positive. 0 comment(s).