"The Haunted Closet" joke
Once there was a girl named Maria having her 13th birthday. She had three of her closest friends over. Their names were Jessica, Sarah and Amy. Amy told Maria that she heard weird sounds coming from the closet and she thought there was a ghost in it, but Maria didn't believe her. Next, Sarah told Maria the same, but Maria still didn't believe them. Then Jessica told Maria the same thing too. This time, Maria said "Chill guys! I'll even go to closet and prove that it is safe!" Maria did as she had said and her three friends followed her. Maria turned out to be wrong.
There was a strange noise coming from the closet. She listened closely and heard a mysterious voice saying "I've gotcha where I want ya, and now I'm gonna eat ya!"
Maria got freaked out and said "I don't believe it! I'm just gonna check one more time."
Again she heard "I've gotcha where I want ya, and now I'm gonna eat ya!" But this time she opened the closet so that she could finally relax at her 13th birthday party. In the closet she found a monkey picking his nose with a giant booger on his finger saying "I've gotcha where I want ya, and now I'm gonna eat ya!"
In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful blonde was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini skirt with matching tight leather boots and jacket. As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too more...
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A: 45 lbs.
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Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!