"The Haunted Closet" joke
Once there was a girl named Maria having her 13th birthday. She had three of her closest friends over. Their names were Jessica, Sarah and Amy. Amy told Maria that she heard weird sounds coming from the closet and she thought there was a ghost in it, but Maria didn't believe her. Next, Sarah told Maria the same, but Maria still didn't believe them. Then Jessica told Maria the same thing too. This time, Maria said "Chill guys! I'll even go to closet and prove that it is safe!" Maria did as she had said and her three friends followed her. Maria turned out to be wrong.
There was a strange noise coming from the closet. She listened closely and heard a mysterious voice saying "I've gotcha where I want ya, and now I'm gonna eat ya!"
Maria got freaked out and said "I don't believe it! I'm just gonna check one more time."
Again she heard "I've gotcha where I want ya, and now I'm gonna eat ya!" But this time she opened the closet so that she could finally relax at her 13th birthday party. In the closet she found a monkey picking his nose with a giant booger on his finger saying "I've gotcha where I want ya, and now I'm gonna eat ya!"
Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans.
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If Ida Lupino married George Wendt, then divorced him to marry Ted Danson, divorced him to marry Alan Alda, then divorced him to marry Ted Knight, and divorced him to marry Shelly Long, she'd be Ida Wendt Danson Alda Knight Long.
If Whoopi Goldberg married Peter Cushing, more...
Three men were all applying for the same job as a detective. One was Polish, one was Jewish, and one was Italian. Rather than ask the standard questions during the interview, the chief decided to ask each applicant just one question and base his decision upon that more...
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5, 000.00.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys more...