"The 3 convicts." joke
Three convicts were on the way to prison. They were each allowed totake one item with them to help them occupy their time whileincarcerated.On the bus, one turned to another and said, "So, what did youbring?"The second convict pulled out a box of paints and stated that heintended to paint anything he could. He wanted to become the"Grandma Moses of Jail".Then he asked the first, "What did you bring?"The first convict pulled out a deck of cards and said, "I broughtcards. I can play poker, solitaire, gin, and any number of games."The third convict was sitting quietly aside, grinning to himself.The other two took notice and asked, "Why are you so smug? What didyou bring?"The guy pulled out a box of tampons and smiled. He said, "I broughtthese!"The other two were puzzled and asked, "What on earth can you do withthose?"He grinned and pointed to the box and said, "Well according to thebox.. I can go horseback riding, swimming, roller-skating...."
An old married couple were driving down the road one day when suddenly the woman punched her husband right in the face. He shouted, "what the hell was that for?". She replied, "That was for 50 years of the worst sex I ever had!" As they continued down the more...
Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!
A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, "Religion?" The man says, "Methodist." St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."
Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. more...
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...
Q:what did god say when the first black person came to heaven?
A:oops I must of burnt one!!