"Sperm Bank Stick Up" joke
A masked man walks into a sperm bank, points a gun at the woman behind the counter and shouts,' Open the safe!'
'But this is not a real bank!' the woman replies,' It's a sperm bank.'
'Open the safe or I'll shoot!' the man shouts.
The woman, now terrified opens the safe.
'Now take one of the bottles and drink it,' he says.
'But sir, these are sperm samples!' the woman replies.
'Just drink it or I'll shoot!'
The woman opens the bottle and drinks the lot.' Now take another bottle and drink it.'
'But sir, I just drank one!'
'Drink another one or I'll shoot you!'
The woman has no alternative and drinks a second bottle.
When she has emptied it, the man now takes off his mask and the woman is surprised to see the robber is her husband.
'Now you see, Honey,' he says,' It isn't so difficult, is it?'
Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!
A man is in court. The Judges says,"on the 3rd August you are accused of killing your wife by beating her to death with a hammer, how do you plead?"
"Guilty", said the man in the dock.
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One day a cucumber, pickle and a penis were having a conversation.
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A guy says to his friend, "I can't remember if the doctor told me my wife has AIDS or Alzheimer's."
His friend says, "It's simple. Drive her to the other side of town. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."