"Signs You're Burned Out" joke
10. You're so tired you now answer the phone, 'Hell.'
9. Your friends call to ask how you've been, and you immediately scream, 'Get off my back, bitch!'
8. Your garbage can IS your 'in' box.
7. You wake up to discover your bed is on fire, but go back to sleep because you just don't care.
6. You have so much on your mind, you've forgotten how to pee.
5. Visions of the upcoming weekend help you make it through Monday.
4. You sleep more at work than at home.
3. You leave for a party and instinctively bring your ID badge.
2. You blasted your Daily Planner with a .357 Magnum a week ago, but still haven't been able to miss a meeting.
1. You think about how relaxing it would be if you were in jail right now.
An old married couple were driving down the road one day when suddenly the woman punched her husband right in the face. He shouted, "what the hell was that for?". She replied, "That was for 50 years of the worst sex I ever had!" As they continued down the more...
Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!
A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, "Religion?" The man says, "Methodist." St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."
Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. more...
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...
Q:what did god say when the first black person came to heaven?
A:oops I must of burnt one!!