"Shaggy Dog" joke

In 1873, a team of German explorers and their three dogs decided to penetrate the heart of the South American jungle. After twelve years, they had set up a fort in an Incan town, the centerpiece of which was a large idol with a huge ruby for an eye.

The German church had sent out their best man, Friar Wilhelm Werks three times to check on the progress of the fort, and each time the appearance of the idol had sent him into fits of screaming, complete with shouts, curses, and rending of garments. Each time, he screamed so loud that he sent the dogs running for cover. And each time, he left with a warning that the next time he visited, the idol had better be torn down.

The commander of the fort, Hans Brickner, received a message that Friar Werks would be coming to visit again in a fortnight. He quickly called a meeting with his top commanders. All five agreed that the Friar would explode when he saw the idol still standing.

"But," said Commander Brickner, "there's nothing to be done. If we take down the idol, we will anger the local tribe, and without their cooperation we're dead."

His second-in-command, Herr Kommandant Wagner said, "In that case, we'd better make sure we put the dogs away."

"Why?"

"You know how scared the dogs get when Friar Werks goes off on the Fort of Jewel Eye."

Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!

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Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock Knock.
Who's more...

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Q: why did the Maori cross the road on a motorbike?
A: to get to the other side.
Q: why did the pakeha cross the road?
A: to get his motorbike back!

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A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...

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Scientists have invented, at the cost of $75 million in research, a robot that repels eyeliner, lipstick & mascara.
You couldn't make it up!

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