"Roast beef sandwich" joke

You're so ugly your mom has to tie a roast beef sandwich around your neck to get the dog to play with you.

Don't worry about the world ending today... It's already tomorrow in Australia.

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A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...

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A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...

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Your Mamma's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!

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you need to shut up with your 1 2 3 way back hairline.

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tabitha:you can roast beef but u cant pea soup
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Carson:Your mom is so fat when she goes to the movies she sits by evryone
Funny Joke? 176 vote(s). 76% are positive. 2 comment(s).