"Roast beef sandwich" joke

You're so ugly your mom has to tie a roast beef sandwich around your neck to get the dog to play with you.

Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!

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There was this boy at school and his teacher said to him " Go home and find the first three letters of the alphabet." So he goes home and asks his sister " What is the first letter of the alphabet?" and she says " Get out of my room you stupid!!!!" more...

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A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...

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A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...

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Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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tabitha:you can roast beef but u cant pea soup
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Carson:Your mom is so fat when she goes to the movies she sits by evryone
Funny Joke? 176 vote(s). 76% are positive. 2 comment(s).