"Pirate" joke

A pirate walks into a bar and has a seat. The bartender notices the pirates peg-leg, eyepatch and hook for a hand.
The bartender and the pirate start talking and the bartender casually slips in the question of how the pirate lost his leg.
The pirate says, "I fell overboard and a shark bit my leg off."
They talk more and the bartender asks how the pirate got the hook.
The pirate says, "We were boarded by enemy pirates and they cut off my hand before running away.
They talk some more and the bartender finally asks how the pirate got his eyepatch.
The pirate said, "A seagull crapped in my eye."
The bartender says, "Wow! You lost your eye to seagull poo in your eye?"
The pirate says, "Well no... it was my first day with the hook."

Pirates chairman Bob Nutting recently told reporters that an MLB salary cap would make Pittsburgh more competitive. Provided that salary cap is half a million dollars.

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Q: Why are pirates pirates?!
A: Because they arrrrre...

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US seamen are now being trained to fend off pirates at sea. First, they were told to stop dressing like whores.

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Keith Richards has been cast to portray Captain Jack Sparrow's (Johnny Depp) father in the third "Pirates of the Carribean" movie, in a move welcomed by everyone except the screenwriter who replied, "How the HELL do I write dialogue for someone who mumbles more...

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why are pirates called pirates caled pirates/ BECAUSE THEY JUST ARHHHH

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