"Perfect shape" joke
Guy's wife comes home from her physical checkup at the M.D.'s, and her hubby says, "Well, how did it go?" She tells him, "The doctor says I'm in perfect shape!" Husband says, "Oh, yeah? How about that big fat ass?" She says, "Oh, we didn't talk about you!"
How many letters are in the alphabet?
There are 11 letters in "THE ALPHABET"
Did you say 26? :)
A man was helping one of his cows give birth, when he noticed his 5-year-old son standing wide-eyed at the fence, taking in the whole event.
The man thought, "Oh, this is just great... he's only 5 and I'm going to have to start explaining all about the birds and the more...
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
Q: What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
A: You can un-screw a lightbulb!