"Old lady with condom" joke
2 old ladies were outside smoking and one of the ladies put a condom on her cigarette before lighting it. The other lady looked and said "What are you doing?"
The first lady says "Oh, I just put this here condom on this cigarette and it gives it more flavor not to mention it keeps it dry when it rains. Just go to any store and get them."
So the first lady goes to the pharmacy and asks the pharmacist if they have condoms.
"Well, of course we do....but do you mind if I ask how old you are?"
"75" the lady responds.
"Well good for you! Nice to see you are stil active. What kind of condoms do you need?"
The lady thinks for a moment and says
"Oh, anything that will fit a Camel."
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...
Jimmy came up to his father one day and asked for a car. His father said, "Jimmy once your dick reaches your asshole, you can have a car." Two years later, Jimmy told his dad that his dick was able to reach his asshole. His father turned to him and said, "Well more...
A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and more...
Don't worry about the world ending today... It's already tomorrow in Australia.