"Marriage Secrets..." joke

Secret tips for making a marriage last...

My wife and I have the secrets to making a marriage last...

1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good
food and companionship. She goes Tuesdays. I go Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Florida, mine is in NY.

3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!"
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker. Then she said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down! "
So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well, there was water in the carburetor. When I asked where the car was, she told me "In the lake."

8. My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but BOY, can she climb a tree now!

9. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off...

10. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"
The driver said, "No, jump in!"