"Marines and the police" joke
The following is supposedly a true story relating a situation that actually occurred in Los Angeles.The Marines were backing-up LAPD on a call that someone had broken into a store.At the scene, the cop told the Marines to "cover" him as he approched the store (to police, "cover" means to point your weapons in the direction of the threat, to Marines it means lay down a base of fire!).The Marines promptly laid down a base of fire. The Marines fired 178 rounds before they stopped shooting.The thief, probably a little scared at this point, called 911 and reported, "They're shooting at me!".
A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...
Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs.
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...
A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer and says to the bartender, "Hey, I got this great Polish Joke..." The barkeep glares at him and says in a warning tone of voice: "Before you go telling that joke you better know that I'm Polish, both bouncers are Polish and so more...
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...