"Lottery Winner" joke
A man walked into a stockbroker's office and said to the receptionist, "I just won the lottery, and I want to open an account with your %**!&%*! company."
Heads turned in shock at hearing the man's language. "I'm sorry, but we don't allow that kind of talk here," the receptionist said. "You'll have to leave."
"I told you I want to open an account with this %**!&%*! company," the man insisted.
Suddenly the manager came out. "What's all the swearing about?" he asked.
"I just won $12 million and I want to open an account with your %**!&%*! company," the man replied.
"Oh, I see," said the manager. "And are these %**!&%*! people giving you a hard time?"
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...
Jimmy came up to his father one day and asked for a car. His father said, "Jimmy once your dick reaches your asshole, you can have a car." Two years later, Jimmy told his dad that his dick was able to reach his asshole. His father turned to him and said, "Well more...
A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and more...
Don't worry about the world ending today... It's already tomorrow in Australia.