"Lightning" joke

My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.

MONDAY: It's so much fun to cook for Ron. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. Fortunately, the neighbors were kind enough to loan me some extra bowls.
TUESDAY: Ron wanted fruit salad for dinner. The recipe said serve without dressing so, I more...

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Yo mama is so stupid, it took her an hour to make minute rice!

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I farted in an elevator yesterday... it was wrong on so many levels.

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A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and more...

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A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...

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ryan:yo mammas so ugly, that when I pictured her in the back of my head, she broke my neck
Funny Joke? 30 vote(s). 83% are positive. 1 comment(s).