"Life with no parole" joke
At 3am a wife wakes up and notices that her husband is not in bed. So, she goes downstairs to look for him and finds him sitting at the kitchen table, with a big tumbler of scotch in front of him. After he takes a drink, she notices that he wipes away a tear from his eye. She rushes to his side, kneels down beside him, holding his hand she says, "hony, what is wrong"?. He says, "do you remember when we started dating when you were sixteen years old"?. The wife replys, yes. He says, "do you remember when your dad caught us having sex in the back of my car"?. The wife replys, yes. He says, "do you remember when your dad stuck that shotgun in my face and told me that I either marry you or he would have me put in jail for twenty years"?. "yes, I remember that too, says the wife. The husband takes another drink, wipes away another tear, looks her in the eye and says, "well, I would have gotten out today".
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