"In the red" joke
Spent my last £50 on a prostitute last night and she was menstruating.
That's me in the red again.
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and more...
Procrastination is like masturbation...
Sure it feels good at first, but then you realize you're only screwing yourself.
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made
with real lemons?
What do you get when you cross a rooster with an owl?
A cock that stays up all night.
Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!