"In the red" joke

Spent my last £50 on a prostitute last night and she was menstruating.
That's me in the red again.

I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and more...

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Procrastination is like masturbation...
Sure it feels good at first, but then you realize you're only screwing yourself.

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Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made
with real lemons?

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12

What do you get when you cross a rooster with an owl?
A cock that stays up all night.

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Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

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