"I'm no weather man but the forecast" joke

Q: What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?
A: Their balls are just for decoration.

I farted in an elevator yesterday... it was wrong on so many levels.

Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans.
He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction
on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they
would marry, he thought to more...

A mild mannered man was tired of his wife always bossing him around, so he went to a psychiatrist. The doctor told him he had to develop self-esteem. The doctor gave him a booklet on assertiveness training, which he read on the way home.
When he walked through the door and more...