"If men wrote the rules" joke

IF MEN WROTE THE RULES
1.Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.
2.If you don't want to dress like Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
3.If we say something that can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way.
4.It is in neither your best interest or ours to make us take those stupid Cosmo quizzes together.
5.Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women how can we know how pretty you are?
6.Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
7.You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done - not both.
8.Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
9.Christopher Columbus didn't need directions and neither do we.
10.Women who wear Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
11.When we're turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the off ramp, you saying "This is our exit" is not necessary.
12.Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived

Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!

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A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...

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A man had his VISA stolen but he decided not to report it as the thief was spending less than his wife did!

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A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...

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Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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