"I want to die peacefully in my sleep" joke

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Your Mamma's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!

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A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...

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Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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The United Nations conducted a worldwide survey with one single question:

"Would you please give your opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a huge failure:

* In Latin America, they didn't more...

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We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.

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crazy_driver_78:I like making passengers scream from my driving on purpose without falling asleep at the wheel. how do you think I got my handle.
Funny Joke? 24 vote(s). 67% are positive. 2 comment(s).