"I don't have a girlfriend, I just know a girl..." joke

I don't have a girlfriend, I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...

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A guy says to his friend, "I can't remember if the doctor told me my wife has AIDS or Alzheimer's."
His friend says, "It's simple. Drive her to the other side of town. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."

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The Utah Jazz collected their 12th straight victory. In celebration, Utah residents might even stay up til midnight.

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Q:what did god say when the first black person came to heaven?
A:oops I must of burnt one!!

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Two Polish guys are sitting on a park bench, and a bum comes up to them.
"Hey!!" he bellows, in his hoarse voice. "I got a riddle for you two. What has 2 heads, 4 arms, 4 legs, and stinks like SHIT??"
The Polish guys look at each other, and one of more...

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Anzac:This is a joke from Mitch Hedberg, please credit the jokes which have been stolen :D
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Anonym:Yuck
Funny Joke? 33 vote(s). 76% are positive. 3 comment(s).