"General Halftrack calling to the motor pool" joke
General Halftrack called down to the motor pool. A sleepy voice answered, "Hullo."
General Halftrack said, "How many vehicles in the motor pool?"
The sleepy voice said, "Hold on."
After a few minutes, he came back on and said, "There's 7 Jeeps, 3 one and a half ton trucks, and 2 staff cars for the fat-ass generals."
General Halftrack was upset by this and said, "Do you know who this is?"
Sleepy voice said, "No."
General Halftrack said, "This is General Halftrack!"
Dead silence for about 5 seconds. Then the sleepy voice asked, "Do you know who this is?"
General Halftrack says, "No."
Sleepy voice replies, "Goodbye, Fat-ass!!!"
An old married couple were driving down the road one day when suddenly the woman punched her husband right in the face. He shouted, "what the hell was that for?". She replied, "That was for 50 years of the worst sex I ever had!" As they continued down the more...
Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!
A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, "Religion?" The man says, "Methodist." St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."
Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. more...
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...
Q:what did god say when the first black person came to heaven?
A:oops I must of burnt one!!