"Funny Extracts From Insurance Claim Forms" joke
* "I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the bonnet. I realized the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket."
* "On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke."
* "I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident."
* "I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment."
* "The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention."
* "I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way."
* "In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."
* "I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car."
* "An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished."
* "I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows."
Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs.
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes
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