"Fly the Friendly Skies" joke

During the final days at Denver's old Stapleton airport, a crowded United flight was canceled.
A single agent was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS."
The agent replied, "I'm sorry sir. I''ll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we''ll be able to work something out."
The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "Do you have any idea who I am?"
Without hesitating, the gate agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone. "May I have your attention please?" she began, her voice bellowing throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at the gate WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to the gate."
With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore "F_ _k you."
Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you''ll have to stand in line for that, too."
The man retreated as the people in the terminal applauded loudly. Although the flight was canceled and people were late, they were no longer angry at United.

What is the difference between Northern and Southern racism?
A southern racist doesn't mind blacks living nearby, as long as they
don't get "uppity."
A northern racist doesn't mind blacks getting "uppity" as long as they
don't live close.

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Two blondes walk into a bar. You'd think at least one of them would've seen it.

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A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play.
He asks a priest for his opinion on this question. After consulting the Bible, the priest says "My son, after an exhaustive search I am positive sex is work and is not more...

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What's the object of a Jewish football game? To get the quarter back!

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A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and more...

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