"Fat kid" joke

I was a chubby kid. My parents sent me to fat camp. I was nervous, but my big brother said, "As soon as you get there, stab the fattest kid you see. No-one will mess with you." I get off the bus at fat camp and some kid runs straight up and stabs me.

An entrepreneur attended an auction at which he won the bid on an old safe. With dreams of a large fortune inside, he was told that the business from which the safe originated was so long defunct, that no one had the combination. Undaunted, he called a locksmith to try to get more...

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A woman's breasts are like a child's toys. They are meant for the child - but the husband is the one that usually ends up playing with them.

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Q: What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
A: You can un-screw a lightbulb!

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There were 10 blondes and 1 brunette hanging on a rope in the mountains. the rope was very weak and the brunette said someone had to let go. no one volunteered, until the brunette finally said she would let go, and gave a heart-felt speech. hearing this the blondes started more...

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Why does a blond wear a tight skirt?
To keep her legs closed

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