"Excellent Checkup" joke
A man arrived home from work one day and found his wife alone in the kitchen in a great mood, dancing and singing.
"What has you in such a happy mood today?" he asked.
"I had my checkup today," she explained, "and my doctor said I have the breasts of an eighteen year old."
"Really," the husband replied, "and what did he have to say about your fifty year old ass?"
"Actually," she said, "your name never came up!"
Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!
A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, "Religion?" The man says, "Methodist." St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."
Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. more...
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...
The Utah Jazz collected their 12th straight victory. In celebration, Utah residents might even stay up til midnight.
Q:what did god say when the first black person came to heaven?
A:oops I must of burnt one!!