"Drawing disability" joke

The bartender was washing his glasses, and an elderly Irishman came in and with great difficulty, hoisted his bad leg over the barstool, pulled himself up painfully, asked for a sip of Irish whiskey. The Irishman looked down the bar and said, Is that Jesus down there? The bartender nodded and the Irishman told him to give Jesus an Irish whiskey also. The next patron was an ailing Italian with a hunched back and slowness of movement. He shuffled up to the barstool and asked for a glass of Chianti. He also looked down the bar and asked if that was Jesus sitting down there. The bartender nodded and the Italian said to give Him a glass of Chianti also. The third patron, a redneck, swaggered in dragging his knuckles on the floor and hollered. Barkeep, set me up a cold one. Hey, is that God’s Boy down there? The barkeep nodded, and the redneck told him to give Jesus a cold one too. As Jesus got up to leave, he walked over to the Irishman and touched him and said, For your kindness, you are healed! The Irishman felt the strength come back to his leg, and he got up and danced a jig to the door. Jesus touched the Italian and said, For your kindness you are healed! The Italian felt his back straighten and he raised his hands above his head and did a flip out the door. As Jesus walked toward the redneck, the redneck jumped back and exclaimed, Don’t touch me, I’m drawin’ disability!

A man walks into his doctor's office and sits down in the waiting room. While he is waiting his turn to be seen, an acquaintance walks in and sits down next to him. The newcomer asks "W w what are yyy you ddd doing here Fred?" The man replies, " I am waiting to more...

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Ya mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door.

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Q: why did the Maori cross the road on a motorbike?
A: to get to the other side.
Q: why did the pakeha cross the road?
A: to get his motorbike back!

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An artist was commissioned to do a mural to be placed in the Museum of the site of the "Battle of the Big Horn." He was asked to do an oil painting depicting what Gen. George A. Custer's last thoughts could have been just prior to his death on the battlefield.
At more...

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Here it is nicely illustrated:
Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each more...

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