"Drawing disability" joke
The bartender was washing his glasses, and an elderly Irishman came in and with great difficulty, hoisted his bad leg over the barstool, pulled himself up painfully, asked for a sip of Irish whiskey. The Irishman looked down the bar and said, Is that Jesus down there? The bartender nodded and the Irishman told him to give Jesus an Irish whiskey also. The next patron was an ailing Italian with a hunched back and slowness of movement. He shuffled up to the barstool and asked for a glass of Chianti. He also looked down the bar and asked if that was Jesus sitting down there. The bartender nodded and the Italian said to give Him a glass of Chianti also. The third patron, a redneck, swaggered in dragging his knuckles on the floor and hollered. Barkeep, set me up a cold one. Hey, is that God’s Boy down there? The barkeep nodded, and the redneck told him to give Jesus a cold one too. As Jesus got up to leave, he walked over to the Irishman and touched him and said, For your kindness, you are healed! The Irishman felt the strength come back to his leg, and he got up and danced a jig to the door. Jesus touched the Italian and said, For your kindness you are healed! The Italian felt his back straighten and he raised his hands above his head and did a flip out the door. As Jesus walked toward the redneck, the redneck jumped back and exclaimed, Don’t touch me, I’m drawin’ disability!
Two guys were walking in the woods one day, and they all of a sudden came across a bear. The bear noticed them, and started growling and generally getting really mean.
The bear started to chase one of the guys, who, as it turns out, was from Czechoslovakia. The bear soon more...
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
Q:what did god say when the first black person came to heaven?
A:oops I must of burnt one!!
There was this boy at school and his teacher said to him " Go home and find the first three letters of the alphabet." So he goes home and asks his sister " What is the first letter of the alphabet?" and she says " Get out of my room you stupid!!!!" more...
How do you know if a chink robbed your house?
Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later the chink is still trying to back out of your driveway!