"Disobedient Children" joke

Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God had to deal with His disobedient children: Adam and Eve.

And the first thing He said to them was:

"Don't."

"Don't what?" Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit," God said.

"Forbidden fruit? We got forbidden fruit? Hey, Eve. . . we got Forbidden Fruit!"

"No way!"

"Yes WAY!"

"Don't eat that fruit!" said God.

"Why?"

"Because I'm your Creator and I said so!" said God, wondering why He hadn't stopped after making the elephants.

A few minutes later, God saw the kids having an apple break and was angry.

"Didn't I tell you not to eat that fruit?" God asked.

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you?"

"I dunno," Eve answered.

"She started it!" Adam said.

"Did Not!"

"DID so!"

"DID NOT!!"

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.

A small boy walks into his mothers room and catches her topless." Mummy, mummy, what are these?" he says, pointing to her breasts." Well, son," she says, "these are balloons, and when you die, they inflate and float you up to heaven." Incredibly, he more...

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A four-year-old boy asked his friend what a penis was. His friend's response was that he did not know and he would ask his dad.

That evening the second boy asked his dad. His dad gladly exposed himself to his son and with his penis in hand said, "Son this is a more...

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A researcher is conducting a survey into sheep shagging. First of all he visits an English farmer.

"So, English farmer, how do you shag your sheep?"

"Well, I take the hind legs of the sheep and put them down my wellie boot and take the front more...

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Boudreaux was feeling guilty, so he went to confession. "Father, I kinda took a leetle lumber from dat new construction site."

Priest: "What did you do with the lumber, my son"?

Boudreaux: "Well, Father, my porch, she's had a hole more...

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One mahatma, a famous saint, died -- must have been someone like Muktananda. One of his supporters died the next day. When the disciple reached heaven, the first thing that he was interested in was, "Where is our guru, our Muktananda? He must be enjoying -- he must have more...

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