"Deathbed Lawyer" joke

Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs.

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes

Your Mamma's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!

you need to shut up with your 1 2 3 way back hairline.

Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

Virgin Mary wanted to visit Hell, so she went to God and asked if she might do so. "Yes," God said. "I have only one warning for you. You must stay away from booze, drugs and men. Will you promise me so?" "Yes," Virgin Mary said. "And remember more...