"Deadly" joke

Once upon a time there lived three men: a doctor, a chemist, and an engineer. For some reason all three offended the king and were sentenced to die on the same day.

The day of the execution arrived, and the doctor was led up to the guillotine.

As he strapped the doctor to the guillotine, the executioner asked, "Head up or head down?"
"Head up," said the doctor.
"Blindfold or no blindfold?"
"No blindfold."

So the executioner raised the axe, and z-z-z-z-ing! Down came the blade--and stopped barely an inch above the doctor's neck. Well, the law stated that if an execution didn't succeed the first time the prisoner had to be released, so the doctor was set free.

Then the chemist was led up to the guillotine.
"Head up or head down?" said the executioner.
"Head up."
"Blindfold or no blindfold?"
"No blindfold."

So the executioner raised his axe, and z-z-z-z-ing! Down came the blade--and stopped an inch above the chemist's neck. Well, the law stated that if the execution didn't succeed the first time the prisoner had to be released, so the chemist was set free.

Finally the engineer was led up to the guillotine.
"Head up or head down?"
"Head up."
"Blindfold or no blindfold?"
"No blindfold."

So the executioner raised his axe, but before he could cut the rope, the engineer yelled out:

"WAIT! I see what the problem is!".

Ya mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door.

255
97

Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

371
193

A group of girlfriends are on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only". Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The Bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it more...

44
6

There's this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink. He sits motionless, staring
like that for half-an-hour.
Then, this big guy breezes into the bar, steps next to him, reaches over, takes the drink from this
poor guy, and just drinks it all more...

4
1

In a small town some where in Illinois lies a family. It consisted of a husband, wife, three sons, and a daughter. One of the sons had a terrible secret.

"Dad, I don't know how to tell you this, but I'm gay," said the son.

The Dad was furious he more...

28
10
Be first to comment!
remember me
follow replies
Funny Joke? 5 vote(s). 60% are positive. 0 comment(s).