"Country Doctor" joke
The country doctor headed out into the boondocks to deliver a baby. This place was so far out that there was no electricity. When he arrived there was no one home except the expectant mother and her 6 year old child.
The doctor told the child to hold a lantern up high so he would be able see while he helped the mother deliver. The child held the lantern as the doctor instructed. The mother began to push and after a while the doctor lifted the newborn by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath.
"Spank him again," the child said. "He never should have crawled up there in the first place!"
Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!
A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, "Religion?" The man says, "Methodist." St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."
Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. more...
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...
Q:what did god say when the first black person came to heaven?
A:oops I must of burnt one!!
Arnold Schwartzinagor has a long one
Michael J. Fox has a short one
Madonna doesn't have one and
Bill Clinton uses his a lot
What is "it"?
A last name!
Now what were you thinking?