"Count The Fish" joke
One day some fisherman caught tons of fish called tench.
The fisherman couldn't eat them all so they gave them to the Mayor of the town.
The Mayor wasn't sure what to do with them. Then he had an idea; he would have a fish-eating competition.
When they had the competition, there were two finalists: a man from a place called Fife, whose name was Mr. Hicks and a man that was from Sweden, whose name is Sven.
So they had the final; the Mayor fired the starting pistol and they started eating the tench.
No sooner had Mr. Hicks bitten the fish than one of his teeth fell out. He couldn't eat because of this so he stopped, but the Mayor refused to stop the competition.
So Sven kept on eating and ended up eating nine of these tench fish.
The next day the headlines read:
ONE TOOTH FREE FOR FIFE HICKS, SVEN ATE NINE TENCH!
An old married couple were driving down the road one day when suddenly the woman punched her husband right in the face. He shouted, "what the hell was that for?". She replied, "That was for 50 years of the worst sex I ever had!" As they continued down the more...
Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!
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Q:what did god say when the first black person came to heaven?
A:oops I must of burnt one!!