"China was once bordering the United States, until ..." joke

China was once bordering the United States, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it all the way through the Earth.

Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.

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A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...

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Chuck Norris does not travel at the speed of light. The speed of light travels at Chuck Norris

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Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

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One day a cucumber, pickle and a penis were having a conversation.
The Pickle says, "You know, my life really sucks. Whenever I get big fat and juicy they sprinkle seasonings on my and stick me in a jar.
The Cucumber says, "Yeah, you think that's bad? Whenever more...

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