"China was once bordering the United States, until ..." joke

A guy says to his friend, "I can't remember if the doctor told me my wife has AIDS or Alzheimer's."
His friend says, "It's simple. Drive her to the other side of town. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."

Your Mamma's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!

your momas so fat when she stepped on the scale it said new high score.

A young woman goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red "H" on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it that he never more...

Never trust a man with short legs... His brain is too near his ass.