"China was once bordering the United States, until ..." joke
China was once bordering the United States, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it all the way through the Earth.
Chuck Norris does not travel at the speed of light. The speed of light travels at Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
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Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
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A guy says to his friend, "I can't remember if the doctor told me my wife has AIDS or Alzheimer's."
His friend says, "It's simple. Drive her to the other side of town. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."
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