"Centipedes, Slugs and Snails" joke

A snail, a slug and a centipede were spending a day together at the snail's house. It was decided that one of them should go out and get some drinks.

The snail said, "I can't go, it will take me all night." The slug said, "I could go, but if it rains, I haven't got anything to protect me."

With this, they both look at the centipede.

The centipede said, "Okay, okay, I'll go," and he walked out the door.

An hour passed and the centipede wasn't back yet. Another hour and still no sign of him. When another hour passed, the snail and the slug began to worry about the centipede and decided to go look for him.

When they opened the front door, they saw the centipede. They asked, "What are you doing?"

The centipede said, "I'm still putting my shoes on."

Once a young Brahmin went to the house of a very respectable Old Brahmin to
ask for his young daughters hand. "My dear Sir", he goes "I have heard that
your daughter has all the good qualities of a Bahu"?
The old brahmin answered "Haan! more...

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Dear Mom and Dad,
Our scoutmaster told us all to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only one of our tents and two of our sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily none us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for more...

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Dodo: Teacher, I Can't Solve This Problem. Teacher: Any Five Year Old Should Be Able To Solve This One. Dodo: No Wonder I Can't Do It Then, I'm Nearly Ten!

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One night, God spoke to a preacher to tell him what he wanted him to do. After God had briefed him on his mission, the minister decided to ask him a question. "God," he said, "What is heaven like?" God replied, "Well, normally I don't tell people this, more...

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Q:what did god say when the first black person came to heaven?
A:oops I must of burnt one!!

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